Matt Duquette

Was the most insane night of my whole life

Although I am essentially a one trick pony in that I play blues rock lead guitar I am taking up the bass and joining an established project from providence I am excited to play music with my friends again. Ill keep u posted but we have a show coming up hope I see my friends out

you dont miss me but i fit on that list u just said, sometimes i still miss you, but only for seconds and then i remember what happened and i just notice myself getting a bit angry still 

ill say this on tumblr cuz a facebook post would attract way to many idiots i dont feel like dealing with 

 I DONT GIVE A FUCK THE KID FROM BUCK WILD DIED. 

that is all 

i made life really hard on myself for the past three years. i tried a lot of different things, i met a lot of new people, i moved to oregon, tried my hand at school, lived away from New England for the first time, stoped playing music, started and stoped a few more times. i built an amazing friendship with Morgan, who will forever be my best man and my brother and partner in all of lifes great adventures. and while some of that was really fun. other parts were not. crying alone at night, wondering if i could dig myself out of the hole i was in, wondering if the changes i made to myself were worth it. wondering if i was worth it. thinking about what is really important. dwelling on the past still not moving on even though everyone eles had. that was difficult. carrying around all that weight, thinking about who i trusted, not really opening up and allowing anyone eles in, i didn’t really want anyone eles to see me cuz the last person the did spat it out. the one person i was really truly madly completely in love with didn’t doesn’t and won’t ever feel the same way. took a while to realize that and to really just give up, the person i thought i could love in the same way if i worked at it had already left me. we still haven’t ever spoken since that night at ruggles station. and this whole time i was just floating around. doing what ever i felt like doing being as carefree as i could be. developing this persona, trying to be this big larger person then what i really am, it was taxing. but i enjoy being able to listen to the eagles in the car, and i like the friends i have and i like me again, the newest edition to my life is Bethany, and she is great shes confident and smart and witty, and my friends that i have like her and she likes them. Cory Derrin and Jenna, mean the world to me, i dont know if i mean the world to them but id kill for my friends. id do anything for them. i come off like an ass, i come off as aloof and a bit pretentious, but i love them. cory for his up front simpleness, his direct, no frills, look past the pretty paint, see to the bottom way of looking at life. ” you gotta call a spade a spade” and never could it think of a better catch phrase for him. cory is the most beautiful form of simple there is, by no way is he not smart, i dont mean simple like that. he has a mind that works in this world, hes got a mind that will alway keep a roof over his head and food on the table and thats something i can admire. and i do admire cory. hes honest, he works hard, he plays hard, and he is genuine. i am happy to have him around. Derrin is my brother, hes a month older but sometimes i feel like i am his older brother. he is destructive, a bad influence, a terrible desicion maker, and the worlds worst driver. but id get in the car with him and ride to a gun fight with a knife in my hand if he asked cuz we are brothers. i love him for everything hes ever done wrong, hes done 20 things right hes got a great heart and thats what the world seems to miss about derrin. for all his goofy ness, the pants around his knees and the backwards twins hats. hes got a heart of fucking gold, he would fight the dogs of hell if they were coming after me, and i like to think i share that devotion to him. Jenna, i am lucky to have met, while she is corys girlfriend and really thats how i know her. id feel a bit of a hole if there was no jenna. the ever present voice of reason, the good women behind the good man. a lady who has no problem yelling right back at the boys. not only is jenna entertaining, she just so fucking cool . i think part of the reason i like cory so much is having jenna around. quick with a joke, always up for an adventure, always styled out. she is the backbone cory needs. she is the perfect abstract thinker to go with corys matter of fact ness, and sometimes she will give un invited but really good advice. you can tell she just says whats on her mind and anyone like that i like. Her and Cory make the most perfect team and with out them well fuck id never do anything and id sit at home watching game of thrones getting fatter eating more briggs. My friends mean the world to me, and while these last 3 years of my life haven’t been the easiest for me to live through and get past, the three of them back here at home, and morgan out west made it possible. listening to me bitch, dealing with my “mr. fantastic” persona, putting up with me getting drunk and stupid, dealing with all my storys about slam pigs and taking acid. and listening to me pontificate about life, they made a real serious impact on me and how i live. i look forward to being friends for years and years to come. you guys are all apart of my family and will forever be welcomed by me. 

sometimes its good to just dwell on the good for a minuet. 

heres to my friends the best people i know, and really the only people who try and know me.